UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL TOXICITY
Emotional toxicity is a major contributing factor to pretty much all chronic health problems, including autoimmunity and cancer, which I know first hand having healed myself through my own cancer journey.
This is due to the very close relationship that exists between the nervous, the endocrine, and the immune system.
Unfortunately, this is the most misunderstood and underestimated of all the root causes of chronic illness. When our nervous system is being constantly activated, pushing us in to fight, flight or freeze mode to be on high alert it cannot simultaneously relax, rest ad restore, therefor our emotional state is effecting our bodies ability to be healthy.
I do not claim to be any kind of expert in these systems of our bodies, but I do know how to heal yourself emotionally.to release chronic conditions such as stress, anxiety, sleep and illness recovery.
Most people have some level of emotional toxicity., even if they don't think they do!
By answering the questions that follow it brings a more enlightened awareness to peoples own emotional states.
And often they realise they do need to
work on their emotional responses after all.
The following questionnaire is devised to help you assess the level of your own emotional toxicity. Because, no matter how clean your diet and your lifestyle may be. No matter how many supplements you take, or days you exersize at high intensity, we will always fall short until we have addressed the emotional state of our health.
By addressing our emotional toxicity we can detox and clean up those old emotions that are weighing us down and causing dis-ease. In working with your emotions it make everything you do at the biochemical level so much more effective, whether it is attempting to heal your gut, balance your hormones, sleep better, release anxiety overcome illness and release trauma from the emotional body.
Below are 54 questions for you to answer.
To get the best results for yourself, please answer them as honestly as possible and to the very best of your memory.
So now, take a piece of paper, and every time you answer YES to a question, simply mark it on the paper.
Then count how many questions out of 54 you answered YES to.
The key here is to really check in with yourself, to be completely open and brutally honest with yourself for yourself .
No one else needs to see this. Do not worry if you discover you have answered YES to quite a few questions. Trust me, it is much better to know where you stand with this. There are many very effective tools to help you address emotional toxicity but it is important to know yourself first, to know what really is causing those triggers, those emotions , so you know what you are working with. Then, and only then can you get started on working through it.
AS A SIDE NOTE...
You do not need to record the number of the questions. However, some questions may cause stronger reactions than others. Whenever I do this questionnaire, I note the number that triggered a big emotional response or uneasy feeling in my body!
Doing this gives much greater insight into what you really need to work through most.
As the reaction itself indicates there is something that needs to be worked on here.
1. Do you suffer from low self-worth / self-esteem?
2. Do you often speak negatively about yourself, or to yourself (negative self-talk)?
3. When good things happen in your life do you feel like you don’t quite deserve them?
4. Do you have recurring feelings of guilt?
5. Do you feel ashamed of anything you may have done in the past, or anything that may have happened to you (and often think about that)?
6. Do you experience anxiety or worry on a regular basis?
7. Do you experience any fear on a regular basis (e.g. fear of rejection / criticism, fear of failure, fear of losing control, fear of death / illness, fear of the unknown, etc.)
8. Do you tend to get defensive when challenged by other people?
9. Are you jealous / envious of anything or anyone?
10. Do you frequently feel angry or frustrated?
11. Do you tend to over-analyze or over-think situations?
12. Do you often feel overwhelmed?
13. Do you often feel negative about your life, your relationships, your job, or anything else?
14. Do you struggle to think clearly due to too much going on inside your head?
15. Do you often feel conflicted, i.e. you want to behave in a certain way but something is making you behave differently?
16. Do you tend to dwell on the past / revisit past events wishing you had acted differently?
17. Do you tend to be critical of others (or yourself)?
18. Do you often feel down or depressed?
19. Do you often feel apathetic?
20. Do you ever feel victimized, i.e. as though everything is lining up against you?
21. Do you often feel unsure of yourself / or question your decisions?
22. Do you tend to feel unsafe in home / at work? Or alienated / isolated / lonely?
23. Are you in a toxic relationship? (if you do not feel safe or feel like you are “walking on eggshells”, or if you are being put down, undermined, lied to, or abused, then the answer is YES)
24. Would you describe yourself as a “doormat”? Do you let other people take advantage of you?
25. Do you tend to “mentally rehearse” the future (what you are going to do / say)?
26. Do you experience sadness (or any other negative emotion) on a regular basis?
27. Do you feel you always HAVE TO be achieving / pursuing something? Is your work-life balance off? (please note, there is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve or be successful; the question is do you do it because you want to or because you feel you should / have to, or because others expect you to?)
28. Do you have difficulty relaxing and / or struggle to meditate due to a busy mind? Is there anything that stops your mind from being silent?
29. Do you feel like your life is lacking meaning / purpose? Do you ever ask yourself "what is the point?"
PART 2 - Adverse Childhood Events.
While you were growing up, during your first 18 years of life:
30. Did a parent or other adult in the household often swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? Or act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt?
31. Did a parent or other adult in the household often push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? Or ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?
32. Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? Or try to or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal sex with you?
33. Did you often feel that nobody in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? Or your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?
34. Did you often feel that you didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, had nobody to protect you? Or your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you?
35. Have you ever felt abandoned or not cared for?
36. Were your parents ever separated or divorced?
37. Did you witness violence? Was your parent, sibling, or other family member often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at them? Or at any time kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? Or ever repeatedly hit, or threatened with a gun or knife?
38. Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic or who used street drugs?
39. Was a household member depressed, or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide? Or were there any deaths in the family?
40. Did a household member go to prison?
41. To you knowledge, did either of your care givers experience emotional trauma, e.g. Holocaust, natural disasters, bullying, homelessness, etc.? Or was your birth traumatic?
42. Were you ever teased, bullied, or shunned by your peers or teachers?
43. Did you experience racism, homophobia or similar forms of abuse?
44. Did you experience a serious physical trauma, illness or accident as a child which required hospitalization?
45. Were you or was anyone close to you homeless when you were young?
46. Did anyone close to you die? Did you experience death or see dead bodies?
47. Did your family experience significant financial difficulties during your childhood resulting in e.g. loss of job or home?
48. Did you feel you didn't really have friends and didn't really feel close to anyone?
49. Did you feel like you didn't have anyone to talk to about the things that were bothering you?
50. Did your parents ever involve you in their own problems? Confided in you about things that made you feel uncomfortable, worried, not in control?
51. Did you grow up in an unstable environment, e.g. moving frequently, living with different people?
52. Were either of your parents / carers a narcissist? Did you feel that as a child you could do no right?
53. Were you ever in a situation when you feared you were going to die?
54. Did you feel the household rules were inconsistent / confusing, and / or punishments unfair?
As you can see there are many factors that contribute to emotional toxicity, which puts stress on the mind as well as the body.
When looking at the second part of the questionnaire, it's important to realise that as little as two YES answers has been correlated with many health problems..
Four YES answers in the second part of the questionnaire dramatically increases the risk of stress and illness.
While 6 YES answers in the second part have been correlated with a reduction in lifespan compared to people with 0 YES answers.
If you have answered YES to up to 5 questions in total
Clearly you have some emotional toxicity but it is by no means disastrous and with a little bit of work you can really "tidy up" this aspect of your wellbeing. Quite possibly, you could even do that on your own. However, I am not suggesting that you have to do this on your own. If you feel you need help, always ask for it.
If you have answered YES to up to 20 questions in total
You have a considerable degree of emotional toxicity, which without a doubt is contributing to any symptoms you may have. If you don't have many physical health symptoms as yet, look at stress, anxiety, even depression and of course sleep! This is due to sympathetic dominance and its well-established impact on health. My suggestion is to address this as soon as you can. You may be able to do some of your own work but your emotional challenges are likely to be more complex and for best results you will benefit from professional guidance.
If you have answered YES to more than 20 questions
This level of emotional toxicity indicates that this is one of the main reasons why we experience chronic symptoms. You are almost certainly in the state of sympathetic dominance and your health will benefit enormously from addressing your current emotional state. As in the case above, you may have partial success doing some of your emotional work but it is highly likely that there is much complexity in what you are experiencing and there are many layers that need to be addressed in the right order. For that reason, I recommend you seek professional guidance.
SO... WHAT TO DO NOW YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS?
I know for some, there will be very few surprises and I can only hope you are already working on this.
For others a greater awareness of what is really going on for them, where it comes from and how they are triggered. t
And some of you may be shocked to find you have admitted and acknowledged these to yourself for the very first time, and have gained your first insight into what it is you are really feeling and experiencing!
So. let’s help you to work through your emotional contributors, issues health and wellbeing along with sleep, stress, anxiety and even those limiting beliefs and looping thoughts that create overwhelmed uncertainty. I recommend you seek assistance from a professional who works with a number of different mind, emotional and body transforming modalities because there is no one tool that fits all. I personally combine Hypnotherapy with NLP, CBT, Timeline Therapy, Emotional Release Therapy, Somatic Body Trauma Release therapy along with Life Coaching and Energy Healing techniques.
Please contact Angie or visit Conscious Serenity for more help, information and to schedule appointments.